We just got our confirmation from Santa that our annual “Special Kids Santa Event” at 12 Oaks Mall will be taking place on December 4th this year from 9:00am to 10:45am.

During this special reserved time families of children with Autism and other special needs have the ability to take the time they need in a more relaxed environment to visit and take pictures with Santa.  Professional photographers will be available.  If visiting Santa has always been a tough thing for your child and family because of the crowds, noise, chaos, lines, etc. this event is the solution you’ve been looking for.  During this time the mall is only open to mall walkers and employees so it’s a GREAT opportunity to let your child have the same “going to the mall to get pictures with Santa” experience that their classmates get to enjoy!

If you have any questions please call Staci @ 734-612-3934!  Hope to see you there!

What: Special Kids Santa

Where: Twelve Oaks, Novi Michigan (map)

Who: MyGreatKid.com & Our Great Kids

What Day: Sunday, December 4th, 2011

What Time : 9:00-10:45am

This year’s theme will be the “Ice Palace” of Narnia.

***Download Friendly Flyer – Sensory Friendly Santa Visit

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Healthy eating, nutrition, and understanding what food labels are REALLY saying were all topics covered in our grocery shopping tour with guest, Kimberly Lord Stewart.

Ms. Stewart is the author of Eating Between the Lines: The Supermarket Shopper’s Guide to the Truth Behind Food Labels.  She is the recipient of two 2004 Association of Food Journalist awards for food news reporting on hunger and fraud in the olive oil industry and a 2001 Jesse Neal Business Journalism Award.

Kimberly is a former editor of Dining Out, Natural Foods Merchandiser,Healthwell, Functional Ingredients and Nutrition Science News.  Her articles and her book have been in numerous publications and media including NPR, Eating Well, Shape Magazine, USAToday Weekend, Dr. Roizen’s You the Owner’s Manual radio, WGN and CBS, ABC and NBC television and radio affiliates.

Join us as Kimberly Lord Stewart takes us around the grocery store on a virtual grocery shopping trip where we discuss how to understand what food labels really mean, organics, healthy eating, fish and mercury, yogurt, raw food and how to fix truly affordable, healthy meals for your family.

This is one of the rare times we’ve reinterviewed a guest and is easily one of Staci’s favorites.  Not only is this interview with Kimberly very helpful for the next trip to your grocery store but we also highly recommend her book too – Eating Between the Lines: The Supermarket Shopper’s Guide to the Truth Behind Food Labels :
.

More about the book ….

So many labels, so little time—just tell me what to buy!

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When I first had this video pop up in my email box I instantly disliked the theme and figured I’d watch it, post it and blast it.  Sometimes a funny thing happens when you take a couple of minutes to actually listen tosomething before you judge it….and that’s what happened with this video.

After actually watching this video and listening to Mr. Porter talk I had to admit …… he makes some excellent points and brings up some valid questions. Many are points that I struggle with as a Father teaching my Son and some are even issues that I struggle with as a Father/Son/Man myself in my daily life.

• How ARE we raising our sons? our daughters?
• What DOES it mean to be a man in today’s world?
• What role do we as “the man” play in the modern version of the world?
• How do you “humanize” the negative parts of the “man box” without “feminizing” the man?
  

I’d love to get your input after you watch this video …

10 Man Things To Prevent Domestic & Sexual Violence

1. Acknowledge and understand how male dominance
and aspects of unhealthy manhood are at the foundation of
domestic and sexual violence.

2. Examine and challenge our individual beliefs and
the role that we play in supporting men who are abusive.

3. Recognize and stop colluding with other men by
getting out of our socially defined roles, and take a stance to
prevent domestic and sexual violence.

4. Remember that our silence is affirming. When we
choose not to speak out against domestic and sexual violence,
we are supporting it.

5. Educate and re-educate our sons and other young
men about our responsibility in preventing domestic and sexual
violence.

6.”Break out of the man box”- Challenge traditional
images of manhood that stop us from actively taking a stand in
domestic and sexual violence prevention.

7. Accept and own our responsibility that domestic
and sexual violence will not end until men become part of the
solution to end it. We must take an active role in creating a
cultural and social shift that no longer tolerates violence and
discrimination against women and girls.

8. Stop supporting the notion that domestic and
sexual violence is due to mental illness, lack of anger
management skills, chemical dependency, stress, etc… Domestic
and sexual violence is rooted in male dominance and the
socialization of men.

9. Take responsibility for creating appropriate and
effective ways to educate and raise awareness about domestic
and sexual violence prevention.

10. Create responsible and accountable men’s
initiatives in your community to support domestic and sexual
violence prevention.

Copyright © 2004, ACT Men Inc. All rights

info@acalltomen.org

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I came across this idea over at “Good Housekeeping” and thought it was a great twist on the classic Christmas cookie idea plus it’s a GREAT little project to do with the kids.

Check out the link for the recipe and the “how to”.  Then, if you’re brave enough to try it,  let us know how it came out … include pictures!

Christmas Cookie Jigsaw Puzzle

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• The best Black Friday 2010 HDTV deal yet: $298 Panasonic 42-inch 1080p plasma at Buy.com | ZDNet
• Black Friday Shopping & Survival Guide – The Washington Post
• Black Friday: Who, what, when, where and no need for a why
• Justin Bieber merchandise hits hot holiday toy lists
• Consumer Reports Home & Garden Blog: How tweet it is: Tracking sales on Twitter and Facebook
• Avoid These Black Friday Security Pitfalls – PCWorld Business Center
• Black Friday 2010 deals, tips and a tease from Apple -
• 10 Social Media Deals to Check In to on Black Friday
• Black Friday Deals 2010: 7 Ways To Use Social Media To Score At Sales
• Walmart Offers Price Matching On Black Friday
• Metro Detroit Boutiques Black Friday Roundup – Holidays News Story – WDIV Detroit

Store Hours

• Stores Open On Thanksgiving 2010: Walmart, Sears And More (HOURS)
• Black Friday Deals 2010 & Store Hours: Where You Can Find The Biggest Savings
• Stores getting a jump on Black Friday | detnews.com | The Detroit News

Shopping Apps For Your Phone

• The best Black Friday deal apps – Technology & science – Tech and gadgets – Tech Holiday Guide – msnbc.com
• The Best Shopping Apps for Android
• The Best Shopping Apps for iPhone

Websites To Find Deals

• Black Friday @ GottaDeal.com – 2010 Black Friday Ads – The Official Black Friday Deals Site
• Facebook Coupons and Deals
• SundaySaver: National – Weekly Sales Circulars & Sunday Newspaper Ads
• Compare prices for retail store sales at SalesCircular
• Compare Prices, Read Reviews, and Find the Best Deals – PriceSpider.com
• Slickdeals.net: The best coupons, deals and bargains to save you money!
• Fatwallet.com – Save Money When You Shop Online

Then For Thanksgiving Dinner (Or For After Thanksgiving & All That Shopping)

• Wine on a Budget: How to Get Good Deals on Wine
• The Hacker’s Guide to Tea

Google Feed Of All The Latest Black Friday Sales & News

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I originally posted this in the spring of 2010 and it quickly became one of the most read posts on this site.  A  friend recently read it and suggested I repost it so that folks that might have missed it could read it, so per their request – I am.   I hope you enjoy reading and sharing it with your friends.

One small caveat though, when you write something like this you inevitably get the “that’s not my husband” or the “Mom’s feel that too” and both are fair statements.   So, for the second portion of this post especially, where it talks about fighting “They” let me clarify a bit – this is for all of us who fight (sometimes quietly and sometimes loudly) for our kids on a day by day, hour by hour basis. It’s for those of us who too frequently lose sleep (when we haven’t passed out from exhaustion) with the sometimes crushing guilt and anxiety we feel for our kids, their futures and their present.   It’s for those of us who fight and sometimes feel very, very alone in our battles as we live in a world of parents, friends, neighbors and yes … sometimes spouses …. that don’t understand and can’t relate to our fight nor the energy we dedicate to it.   It’s for those of us who fight, knowing that even if we win, even if we achieve our end goal in all likelihood the rest of the world still won’t notice, care or at the very least won’t understand why we gave so much for what to them …. seems like a minor victory.   It’s for those of us who understand at a deeper, guttier level what it means to be, and sacrifice as, a Parent than most of our SUV and minivan driving “fellow parents”.   Every person has challenges in their lives and every good parent has to sacrifice but this post is specifically for those of us out there who via choice, fate, cosmic happenstance, accident, destiny or a “higher power’s plan” were given an extra helping of challenges …. and who still rise to it.  Thanks for reading – Steve

The end of the school year is always tough.

Lots of wrapping up to do.

For us, both personally and professionally, it also means sitting in a lot of IEP’s.   To be perfectly honest it gets pretty draining after a while.   In meeting after meeting the parents have to square off against a panel of school officials whose job it is in some manner or form to convince the parents that their child is not “normal” and will likely have a “limited capacity” for the rest of their lives.   In doing this it’s their hope to construct lower standards that they feel are “appropriate” and which all too inevitably the parents will feel is selling their child, and their future, short.

I’m often asked how this stuff feels for Dads. You see lots of Mom’s at therapy sessions and school but not so many Dads.   On more than one occasion I’ve had a Mom say to me….

“My husband just doesn’t accept/see/understand what’s going on….”

Time and again I’ve felt a bit like a fraud as they’ve complemented me on being so much more hands on and accepting of my child’s challenges.  It’s funny because while I’m listening to their kind, heartfelt compliments on the inside I’m normally thinking …

“My God, you’re such a fraud.  If only they knew that you’re not anymore accepting than their husbands.   If only they knew that the fears that eat at their husbands are the same things eating at you.”

I’ve actually got a post that I wrote a good month and a half ago (maybe more) about this very thing.   I never posted it because honestly it got too dark  (not suicidal dark, just that helpless/frustrated kind of dark).   I figured I’d let it sit for a bit and then come back to it.

Father’s Day is rolling around this weekend and I’ve thought about posting it …. maybe cleaning it up a bit …. but posting it.   It was in the back of mind as I ran across a blog that I enjoy by a Dad, not too unlike me and a lot of other Dad’s out there, named Robert Rummel-Hudson.   I’m going to be honest and tell you right now that his blog is a real portrayal, of a real Dad, going through real challenges, with his real daughter.  As such, sometimes they can feel a little dark and desperate.  The guy opens up and he’s real.  I’ve attached four of his recent posts below because I think they capture the behind the scenes struggles of a lot of Dads out there,  in a pretty elegant way.

For you Mom’s out there who want an insight into what your husbands might be thinking, it might be a worthwhile read.

For those of you out there who work with our kids (teachers, therapists, special ed teachers, psychologist, administrators, etc.) it might be a worthwhile read to understand … to the exceptionally limited extent that you can …. what you do to us and why we fight you like we do.

• Fighting Monsters with Rubber Swords: Truth can be a monster, too
• Fighting Monsters with Rubber Swords: A question of faith
• Fighting Monsters with Rubber Swords: Alamo

I love this final post so much I couldn’t even link to it for fear that some of you might not click and read it so I posted it in it’s entirety below.

They

We all know They. We live by They’s rules, or we fight They with the weapons we have, which are almost never as effective as the ones They carry and which They often use with such little regard for the consequences.

As I look through my blog and the comments left on it, I can see that while my daughter would appear to be the most frequent subject of my writing and of others’ responses, there’s also a clear antagonist.

They.

—

“They said my son would never walk.”

“They told us that our daughter would never be capable of writing her name or reading.”

“They never allowed him to sit with the other kids because They didn’t see any educational benefit to him or his classmates.”

“They never expected her to live, much less thrive.”

“They’ve denied our claim… again.”

“They objected to their kids being compelled to attend classes with mine. They don’t want resources being moved to special education.”

“They were pointing at me and making fun of how I walk. They didn’t think I noticed, but I did.”

—

They aren’t all the teachers and doctors and therapists that our kids encounter. Hopefully They don’t dominate our families or our communities. Indeed, in the best of times, They are in the minority, and their voices can sometimes be drowned out by those who do get it, who do believe.

But They are always there somewhere.

They tell us what our kids can’t do.

They attempt to predict the future, one in which disabilities call all the shots.

They look at our kids and see what can’t be done.

They withhold their resources, and their optimism.

They set expectations low, and then They work to make those expectations a reality.

Our reality.

Sometimes They are right. Perhaps They are right much of the time, at least on a technical level. And They certainly are very good at documenting their opinions and actions and creating the paper trail to protect themselves. They are smart, and They are omnipresent.

But if you, gentle reader, are a doctor or a therapist, a teacher or a family member, or even just a citizen, I have but one thing to ask of you. Just this one simple request.

Don’t be They. Just don’t.

Pretty powerful stuff, huh.

It’s not just Dads.  I know it’s Moms too.

However, sometimes we Dads get a bad break because we don’t usually show emotion the same as you ladies do.  We “Alamo” it up in a sense and take the fight to the enemy or opposition regardless of what the odds might be.  We frequently don’t show the same “flight” emotions because we’re scared if we show those emotions it will dull the “fight” emotions and God knows we need to be able to fight the “They”.

Don’t make the mistake of the thinking that those emotions aren’t there though, we just don’t necessarily process them through the same as you do.

I know, especially if you’ve read all of the posts linked above, this little conversation we’ve just had might have been a bit of a downer.  Sometimes though, if you want to see the full picture you have to look at the black parts too.

It’s a full-time job, convincing myself that everything’s going to work out somehow and that one day she’ll tell people “Why, there was a time when my teachers thought I was retarded, and look at me now! My parents believed in me, and they were right. I’d like to dedicate this Pulitzer to them.”

And so we fight on …… not because we’ve got no other choice but because we made the choice a long time ago that to not fight, was not an option.

We don’t need any special motivation

they’re our kids,

so we hold on ….

And We Fight.

***************

A Similar / Related Post - It was just a staircase and yet …

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Today in Michigan is primary election day.

Today’s one of those days when we can learn who’s serious and who’s just part of the peanut gallery barking at those on the field but unwilling to actually do something.

Look, since the time this country started fighting for it’s freedom we’ve had over 1,095,000 US soldiers die in wars for this country.

Can we really not find 10 minutes to vote?

For most of us, sadly, it won’t take much more time than that because according to projections we’re looking at only about 20% of the registered voters actually voting.

Don’t just vote though, make this into a learning experience for your children.  Part of our responsibility as citizens, parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles is helping our junior family members understand the importance of history and their role in leading this country forward in a way that will build on that history.

So pickup your kids and take them with you to the polling place.  On the way explain why voting is important and why Founding Fathers George, Tom, Ben and the boys put EVERYTHING on the line to pry King George III’s fingers off of our country. Mention that number up above….

Over 1,095,00 US Soldiers have died in wars protecting our freedoms

That number doesn’t include all of the good men and women that didn’t sacrifice their lives for us but did suffer life changing physical, mental and emotional damage that they carried with them for the rest of their days.

Point out the schools, police officers, public parks, fire stations and road crews that you pass on the way and explain where the money for them comes from.

When you get to the polling place show them how you sign in and why they check your ID.

Take the time to show them the ballot and how you have to fill it out.

Show them the millage or other issues that you’re voting on and what that means (millage = tax dollars = Mom & Dad’s money) and why caring about that matters (remember those schools, cops, firemen, parks, etc. that you passed earlier?).

When my son and I went earlier they even gave him a little voting demonstration slip (practice ballot) for him to bring with me and we voted together.

Show them how you submit the completed ballot and why it’s a “secret ballot” and what that means.

Then grab an “I Voted Today” sticker and let them slap it on their shirt.

Walk out of there proud and thank them for their help.

Then … and this may be the most important part – explain to them that what they just did is something that not everyone else in the world can do.  Let them know that most of the people in this country have forgotten their responsibility to do it and forgotten all those good people that died for us so we could live in a FREE country.

It reminds me of a high school coach that once explained there were three kinds of folks in the world.  He put it in the context of moving a large load in a big wagon (the wagon and load representing our society, world, etc.).

First there were the PUSHERS who got behind the wagon and put everything they had into moving the wagon forward.  Then there were the PULLERS.  Like the PUSHERS they were responsible for moving the wagon forward but instead of pushing the wagon they were out in front pulling it forward.  They had the added responsibility of not only moving the wagon forward but also of helping steer it in the direction that they wanted it to go. Then there were the RIDERS.  These were the folks that didn’t do anything but sit and let themselves be moved forward by the efforts of the PUSHERS and PULLERS.

• PUSHERS – Work hard to move things forward.
• PULLERS – Work hard to move things forward while guiding the way.
• RIDERS – Sit and let everyone else do the work.

Today, 80% of our fellow citizens will elect to be RIDERS.

Today, 80% of our fellow citizens will delegate the work to the rest of us.

Today, 80% of our fellow citizens will leave the decision on where we go to us.

If you care about the future your child is going to inherit.

If you care about their safety.

If you care about their education.

If you care about their standard of living.

If you care about their ability to enjoy the same freedoms we have today ….

You must not be a RIDER.

You’ve got to be a member of the 20% PUSHING and PULLING to move us forward.

YOU MUST VOTE!

P.S. – If you can’t take your kids with you that doesn’t mean you can’t still teach them all of the same things. Click the link below and you can even print a sample ballot for yourself that you can give to your child for their own practice vote –

Find My Sample Ballot

(This post originally appeared in August 2010)

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Just wanted to remind everyone to mark your calendars for the next “Lights Up, Sound Down” Sensory Friendly movie  - “Megamind” – on November 6th.

(The “Lights Up, Sound Down” offering of Megamind will NOT be in 3D)

Click here for more details

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