I’m really tired of the ongoing debate that’s been raging in recent weeks about the “R” word (I guess it’s more impactful when we only use the first letter of words). Not because I don’t agree that there is the potential for offense when the word is used or because I think it’s okay to use the word. Most of my annoyance about the debate has been the way that too many of the folks taking “offense” have seemed to be doing so in a very self-serving way.
John McGinley (of Scrubs and Office Space fame) has a child with Down Syndrome and he wrote a pretty blistering piece on his feelings about the use of the word (the piece can be found here – though some of the language is pretty strong) in early February. It was a good piece, though the heat of some of his anger could be felt through the screen and I wondered if he might have been better off waiting a bit to write the piece. It seemed to me that the language he used – though it was used to make a very definite point – might have served to offend many of the people he was trying to get to his side.
On March 2nd McGinley wrote a second piece that I thought was excellent and in many ways probably helped his cause more than the
first. The piece is entitled “Spread The Word to End The Word” and I think it does a great job of addressing the tension between free speech and offensive speech in a free country :
Our right to speak as we see fit is sacred and not something that any of us are willing to relinquish. Nor should we.
However, when the words we are free to speak are aimed at specific populations of people and target that group in a harmful way, there are repercussions. There is a “tax” that will be imposed on those who chose to assault others with their hate speech.
This “duty” may be levied in the form of boycotts, marches, firings (see: Imus), or even a stiff right to the jaw! In other words, when the words that we are free to speak include racial slurs, epithets or sexist slander, there has been and always will be blowback. Groups like the NAACP, The Anti-Defamation League, NOW and GLAAD, will respond to derisive language directed at their constituents. The price paid by those who cavalierly chose to verbally disrespect the dignity of African Americans, Jews, women and homosexuals is steep.
I especially liked his reference to a tax that is imposed on free speech. Not a tax or ramification imposed by the government but a tax imposed by society. Freedom of speech might give us the freedom to say whatever we want without the fear of being silenced by the government, but that doesn’t mean that our words don’t have any ramifications.
The consequences for launching into hurtful language, aimed at powerful ethnic, religious and gender based groups, are profound and final (see; Michael Richards and Jimmy “The Greek”). The very real fear of a counter-punch thrown by the victimized party, is usually enough to scare away almost every single one of those who would otherwise toss about slander without a care. The fear of the tax or the very real cost, is a hammer that sometimes informs the speech that we are so free to express.
Verbally assaulting those who have done absolutely nothing wrong and cannot even begin to defend themselves, is an exponentially more egregious transgression. Only bullies and cowards pick on the defenseless. However, it does seem fair to assume that a vast majority of people who use the R-word (i.e. “Retard” and “Retarded”), are not even aware that their language is offensive and hurtful to members of the special needs community. And at the risk of being redundant, perhaps there is some value in setting the record straight: the R-word hurts! And it makes no difference that a person with special needs is not in ear shot when the word is spoken. Using the R-word perpetuates a negative stigma that belittles people with special needs. And the casual nature in which the R-word is now thrown about only makes the impact even more insidious and and the trickle down affect more persistent. The R-word hurts.
Later in the article …
The First Amendment protects every ones right to use the R-word. There is not a member of the special needs community who wishes to compromise any fellow Americans freedom of speech. That is certainly not the drill here. However, armed with the knowledge that the R-word is a source of pain and that using the R-word demeans a group that is not in a position to defend itself and who definitely never did anything to merit this kind of derision, the hope is that people will exercise some degree of compassion or at least a heightened sensitivity toward the continued use of the R-word. Again, this is not an invasion of the Bill of Rights. Rather, it is a civil call to integrate a simple change into the way we treat, regard and address the special needs population.
I thought it was a great piece and probably one of the most intelligent submissions I’ve heard since this debate started over a month ago.
I’ve never been the type to really get that worked up over words or labels like this. My attitude has always run along the lines of Eleanor Roosevelt’s great quote that “nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent”. Labels and names lose some of their power if you don’t let them stick to you. But the reality is that labels can be damaging when others use them specifically to demean.
Though the word “retarded” isn’t officially used as a label anymore, the simple fact that it’s still closely associated with specific segments of our population makes it a word that should be used with some respect and sensitivity.
So while it’s true that some could argue that when they use the word it’s not directed as a demeaning swipe at those with Down Syndrome or mental challenges the fact of the matter is that those populations still get hit when it’s used. It reinforces a negative image and association.
Maybe someday when there’s not a close association with a specific group it won’t be such a big deal (much like the terms idiot, imbecile and moron were used and associated differently in the past) but until then I’m hoping we can all just let the word go …. literally.
