Why Wrightslaw on March12th?

This conference is personal for me.

In 2000 when my son was first diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum it turned my life upside down.  I knew that there were a lot of challenges in store for my son and our family as we marched past the initial diagnosis and the creeping efforts to lower my expectations for my son.  We were told my a leading Autism “expert” that my son’s future meant that he would be:

• Nonverbal until at least 10 years of age and even then he wouldn’t be able to be understood by anybody except close family … and that was the best case scenario.
• He’d NEVER be able to attend school in a mainstream classroom.
• It wasn’t realistic to expect him to be able to learn how to read, do math or most other academic types of endeavors
• He’d never be able to have a “real” job or live on his own

The list included some more items but I think you get the jist of where it’s going.  The point is that for my son he was effectively closing the book on his potential.  As a matter of fact he literally told my wife and I that we’d done everything we could and that any other types of intervention, therapy, tutoring, etc. would be a waste of money.  At the time my son was 2  1/2 years old.

2  1/2 years old and this guy was going to write off my son’s entire future based on his twenty-five minute evaluation?

We could have written it off as just an freak encounter with a jerk.  But this man was an expert.  Not only an expert but a well known, well respected expert.

Well we actually did write it off and I probably owe him a debt of gratitude because he helped steel our resolve and reduce our reliance on the “experts” (at least those experts that haven’t actually had to walk their talk).

Today my son has surpassed most of the exceptionally low standards that expert predicted for him.  But I’m not going to lie, it’s been a lot of hard work and a lot of struggle.

What we’ve learned through our journey with our son, and the many families that we’ve worked with over the years, is that frequently the largest hurdle isn’t the actual challenge that the child is facing but the low expectations that others build around them …. and sadly that all too frequently (and devastatingly) includes the schools.

Low expectations, ignorance, neglect, budget cuts and districts/schools being more concerned about their test scores than their actual students frequently plays a larger role in what services our children receive than the child’s actual needs would dictate.  Decisions that should be made based on the child’s needs frequently are trumped by the schools needs or wants.  Despite legal protections that are in place to make sure that ALL children receive an appropriate education, the reality is all too frequently these legal protections don’t matter.

Why don’t they matter?

Because the parents (and sometimes even the teachers) don’t know that they have a LEGAL RIGHT to certain services and help at school.  If you don’t know that you have the right then you don’t exercise the right and instead you’re left with your child receiving whatever the school – who isn’t necessarily looking out for the child’s best interests – deems acceptable for them.

So, to paraphrase a past president – our children get left behind.

WAY BEHIND!

I’m talking grade levels behind.

Sure, they don’t actually hold them back but while their grade level says one thing their actual skill level and understanding and EDUCATION is years behind the number on their transcript.

So what does this have to do with this conference?

When my son was still in Early Intervention as a toddler I was introduced to Wrightslaw.com and it CHANGED my son’s life.  I learned:

• What types of services my son could and should be getting at the school
• What all those tests they were giving my son at school meant
• What all those labels they were giving him meant
• That what the school was saying at was the legal reality didn’t necessarily match up
• How to get my son more help during the school year
• How to get him additional help during the summer
• How do get outside testing done to measure my son’s progress
• How to bring additional services into the school to help EDUCATE my son

In the years that followed I am not exaggerating when I say that the Wrightslaw education that I’ve received (and am still receiving) has literally saved my family well in excess of $20,000 and trust me when I tell you that’s a conservative estimate.

But far more important than the money is the fact that my son has received a monumentally better education than he ever would have received if I’d try to go it on my own.

So that’s the good part of the story.  It’s the part that allows me to pat myself on the back while thanking Pete & Pam Wright, Wayne Steedman and Pat Howey at Wrightslaw for their unbelievable help.

Here’s the kick myself in the butt part of the story.

I learned a lot from the Wrightslaw.com website and all of their outstanding books but I waited a while to actually attend a conference. My reasons were legitimate (time, money, I could read it online, etc.) and I thought I was still getting everything I needed without having to go to a conference for a live training.

Ooops.

You see in the very first live conference I went to I quickly realized that I’d made a big mistake.

Like a many thousands of dollars mistake.

Prior to the conference in order to get my son services that he’d needed we’d changed school districts (okay, parents do that all of the time) but in order to change school districts we had to move into a new house in another nearby city.  We’d done it because we were told that we couldn’t get the services in the other school district.  We’d done it because we were told that the ONLY way to get those services was to be a resident of this other city.  So, for our son’s benefit, we moved.

Guess what?

We didn’t have to.  We could have (and should have) had access to those exact same services without having to move anything except my son’s backpack.

After learning this at the conference I went back to the school to confirm if what I’d just learned was true … yup, sure was.

Nobody at the school had mentioned this of course.  Despite all of our conversations with the school PRIOR to moving nobody had explained how we could get the exact same services without loading up the ‘ol UHAUL.

Second lesson I learned at the conference (which also would have saved me thousands of dollars)?

Well,  it turns out that in some very specific circumstances a parent is justified in asking their school to cover the cost of outside evaluations of their child.  Wish I would have known about that one before coming out of pocket for a bunch of evaluations in that previous year.  Once again, nobody at the school mentioned this to me as we were getting this testing done to be used in planning my son’s education.

Ya’ see it really is true that “Knoweldge is Power” and “Ignorance is Expensive”.

When we’re dealing with our children’s futures though that expense is measured not only in dollars but in their long term quality of life.

My son’s long term potential, earning ability, quality of life and physical, cognitive, mental and educational potential have been dramatically improved because of Wrightslaw.com and the Wrightslaw trainings.  When we had our first conference two years ago we sold out a venue with seating for over 500 people and were turning people away at the doors that morning.  We’re bringing the conference back because we know what this training and information is worth.

I don’t want another family to have to waste a single dollar getting their child the education that they need, deserve and are LEGALLY entitled to.

I don’t want another child to have to struggle without the resources, tools, curriculum or help that will make their life more rewarding and their school day less painful and humiliating.

For a minimal financial investment and one Saturday your child and your family’s future can be improved just as dramatically improved … hopefully even more.

I hope to see you at our conference on March 12th.

Steve Bockmann